| Candidates Vie for the Gooker |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|09:00 pm] |
*headdesks*
You know, the catch-phrases aren't cool when the wrestlers say them. It's even more embarrassing to watch when you have presidential candidates stumbling through them.
That's it! I'm packing my bags and moving to Canada.
I'm gonna email RD Reynolds. I think we have a Gooker winner. |
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| It's Official: Florida Sucks! |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|09:00 pm] |
You know that Bugs Bunny cartoon where he saws Florida off of of the continent and lets it drift away? Can we just do that? In fact, let's just divide the land at the Ohio River and let everyone south of there live in the wacky Bible Belt paradise that they've always wanted.
Anyhoo, did you hear about the WWE "controversy" that occurred in Florida? This is just plain dumb.
WWE Nipplegate
Okay, kids. For a long time, I’ve been saying how stupid it is that we can pretty much show any part of the female mammary glands (more popularly known as tits, fun bags, and boobs), but you can’t show the nipple. Now that’s kind of dumb, because there’s nothing immediately offensive about the nipple. I mean, it’s just a nipple. But then again, we still live in a world of male chauvinistic double standards, where we have to make the women feel ashamed of their natural bodies, but not the men.
Well, the state of Florida says, "You know what, Neil? You're right!". So, Mayor Douchebag McCheese of Orlando, Florida, host of last Sunday's Wrestlemania, demanded that WWE had to airbrush out ALL OF THE MALE NIPPLES from all Wrestlemania banners.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-maxwell2808mar28,0,6392637.column
WhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhyWHY?!!?!?!? Why do we live in a world of prudes that get all bent out of shape over such trivial things?! They're just NIPPLES!
And speaking of getting bent, I guaran-fucking-tee you that there were repressed homosexual desires involved in this decision. Some homophobe in the mayor's office clearly was becoming self-conscious about the boner he kept popping everytime he looked at a Wrestlemania billboard on his way to work. |
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